panic-attack thursday

Who needs coffee? Simply follow these steps to ensure that you are fully alert and that your adrenaline is pumping on a Thursday morning:

1. Get your baby and toddler dressed and fed and head outside to load them into the car.
2. Open the driver's side door and put your purse in the seat. Close the door.
3. Open the back passenger door and get the baby and his car seat loaded. Close the door.
4. Open the front passenger door, reach across and put the keys in the ignition and turn on the car. Accidentally set off the panic alarm, but quickly shut it off. Hear a clicking noise. Ignore it. Shut the door.
5. Walk around to the other side of the car to get the toddler loaded into his seat. Realize the car is locked.
6. REALIZE THE CAR IS LOCKED!!!!!!! WITH THE BABY INSIDE!!!
7. Check each door to make sure.
8. REALIZE THE CAR IS DEFINITELY LOCKED!!!!!! WITH THE BABY INSIDE!!!
9. Check to make sure the air conditioning is running. It is.
10. Look for your phone so that you can figure out who to call.
11. Realize your phone is in your purse in the driver's seat!!
12. Go inside with the toddler to call your husband from the house phone.
13. Remember that it doesn't work because it is unplugged and uncharged.
14. Head back outside to check on the baby. He's fine.
15. Realize that none of the neighbors are home. Knock on the house next door just to make sure. No answer.
16. Pretend to be McGuyver and look for tools around the house to "jimmy" the lock.
17. Decide that you are NOT McGuyver and that you are going to do major damage to the car if you continue with this plan.
18. Go back inside with the toddler to look up a locksmith number online.
19. Find a nice landscaping man and borrow his cell phone. Call the locksmith.
20. Sit outside in the shade with the toddler while you wait on the locksmith.
21. Look through the car window frequently to check on the baby. He's peacefully napping.
22. Breathe a huge sigh of relief when the locksmith shows up 20 minutes later and unlocks the doors.
23. Pay $150.
24. Hug the baby.
25. Drop the boys off at school.
26. Come home and debate a glass of wine at 9:45am.
27. Take several tequila shots instead. (Just kidding)
28. Call BMW about getting a spare key made.
29. Realize much later that you could have just called 911 and that it would have been quicker and free.
30. Decide that $150 is a relatively small price to pay, and thank God (again) that everyone was ok.